


If You Give A Ghost A Job...

by GanglyLimbs



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Demon! Geoff, Fluff, Ghost! everyone else, Haunted Houses, Multi, Necromancer! Ryan, Witches! Lindsay and Ashley, Zombie! Jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 05:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8432782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GanglyLimbs/pseuds/GanglyLimbs
Summary: ...then that ghost is going to disappoint you. Especially if that ghost's name is Ray. All Ryan wants to do is beat Geoff in their bet, but that's going to be tough with what he has to work with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Itsharp1: who prompted something with necromancer! Ryan and haunted houses. Thank you! I hope you enjoy this. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Halloween would be Ryan’s favorite time of the year, what with all the sweets being baked and the ability for Ryan to practice his spells without raising any attention from humans-they were more likely to accept the appearance of wondering zombies if they thought I was a costume. Plus, the colder weather made it so he could wear his favorite outfits and he did really enjoy all the pumpkin spice.

Yes, Halloween would absolutely be Ryan’s favorite time of the year. If it weren’t for a demon named Geoff.

Ryan had made the stupid decision, years ago, to enter a yearly bet with the demon. Whoever could create the scariest haunted house-chosen by the humans who visited-got to request something from the loser. Ryan lost every time.

The request wasn’t always bad. There were the memorable years where Geoff had requested a kiss from Ryan and then the year where Geoff had used his request to take Ryan on a date. The year where Geoff asked him out. All good years. But then there were the years where Geoff made Ryan wear silly, revealing clothes or he would be forced to be Geoff’s assistant for a week. And then there was the gloating. No one was as much of a sore winner as Geoff Ramsey.

Just once, Ryan wanted to win and shove it Geoff’s face. But though he may be a necromancer, Geoff was a demon who had the ability to pull creatures from the depths of Hell. Ryan wasn’t able to compete with that.

Or was he?

“Are you sure this will work?” Ryan asked Lindsay as the witch poured ingredient after ingredient into her cauldron. The smoke rising from it was a sickeningly green and it made Ryan pale a little.

“Of course I am.” Lindsay assured him. “You have the two brightest witches on your side.”

“And there’s nothing more than we want to do than to help you rub Geoff’s face in the dirt.” Ashley piped up as she set down more ingredients on the nearby table.

“Yeah, but-“

“But nothing.” Ashley dismissed. “Now bring that book over here so we can get our summoning on.”

Ryan sighed and grabbed his spell book. The hope was to summon the greatest, most terrifying ghost to haunt their house. Ryan hoped it worked. Tomorrow was already Halloween. They needed this.

Taking a deep breath, Ryan opened his book to the spell he bookmarked. Looking at the other two, who gave him encouraging nods, Ryan began to chant.

The liquid in the cauldron began to glow and the girls took a step back. Ryan chanted louder, faster, willing the ghost to come to him, to follow his orders. There was a boom, wind blasting past them, causing Lindsay and Ashley to shield their faces. Ryan kept reading.

At the climax of his spell, Ryan threw in the last ingredient-the preserved brain of a dead man. As soon as it combined with the rest of the soupy liquid, the green liquid shot towards the ceiling, forming into a hand. The three of them stared in amazement as the hand thrashed around before slamming into the ground, digging down deeper as it searched for the soul Ryan called for. Ryan glanced at the girls before staring at the hand again. Eventually, the hand started retreating, indicating that it had grabbed what Ryan wanted.

“OK, this is the part where we need to be careful.” Ryan cautioned. “The soul is going to be angry at being brought back to the world of the living.”

The girls nodded. Ashley held up potion she had specially made for this moment. “I have us covered.”

“Good.”

The green, gooey hand whipped and slammed back into the cauldron. The ghost it brought back with it floated before them. “What the fuck, man?” It asked.

Ashley raised the potions. Ryan thrust out his hand. “Spirt, you will listen to me.”

The spirit raised an eyebrow, stuffing his hand in his hoodie pockets. “You know, I have a name. It’s Ray.”

“…Ray, you will listen to me.” Ryan declared.

Ray shrugged. “Ok.”

“Wait, really?” Ryan asked, lowering his hand.

“Yeah, why not. What’d you need?” Ray asked, floating closer to the ground.

“Um, well.” Ryan stuttered.

Ashley jumped in. “We need ghost for our hunted house. Could you bring some hear to scare the shit out of others?”

“Really? That’s it? Fuck yeah, I can do that.” Ray agreed.

“Ok. Cool. Thanks.” Ryan awkwardly palmed the back of his head. “This is going…a lot easier than I thought it would.”

“That’s me. Easy.” Ray shrugged again. “So, that’s it. I just need to get some people to haunt your stupid house?”

“Uh, yeah.” Ashley said.

“If it makes you feel better, we’re only doing this because we want to win a bet.” Lindsay chimed in.

“Don’t care. All I care is that this sounds super easy, so I’m in.” With that, Ray gave them double pistols as he started to dissipate.

The three of them all looked at each other. “So,” Ashley began. “That was something.”

“Yeah it was.” Lindsay said. “I don’t think this is going to go how we thought it was.”

“No, it’ll be great.” Ryan said, trying to be positive about it.  “Watch, this is going to turn out awesome.”

~

It did not turn out awesome.

There was the ghost named Michael that only hunted the bathrooms because he thought it was funny to pop out of the toilet so he could literally scare the shit out of the humans. Another ghost, Gavin, scared himself more than he did anyone else, his bird-like yelp echoing around the rooms. Meg floated around, making comments about the effort people put into their costumes. When Ashley confronted her about not being rude to the humans, Meg snagged one of her charms and floated away, Ashley chasing after her. At least the zombie they brought along, Jeremy, actually tried, but he ended up having more people wanting to take photos and break things than he scared people. Ray, for his part, spent his time in the kitchen, trying to convince people to try and feed him.

People left laughing more than they were screaming and Ryan could feel his heart sinking. Especially when an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

“Well, will you look at that?” Geoff asked as the two of them watched a couple leave the house laughing.

Ryan sighed, head resting in his hands. “Look, let’s just get-“

“Hey, are you the owner of this house?” It was the couple, still wearing large grins.

“Yeah?” Ryan hesitantly answered, not in the mood to be made fun of for his shitty house.

“That was fucking fantastic.” One of the girls said. The other nodded. “The ghost was so funny and your zombie was amazing. A+, dude.”

“Ah, um, thank you.” Ryan blinked at them, not expecting that.

“Yeah, much better than that house across the neighborhood.” She continued. Geoff stiffened. “It’s way too scary, can’t take our little cousins to it.”

“And it tries way too hard. Too edgy.” The other girl said. “I much rather go to this one than the other one.”

“Oh really?” It took everything in Ryan not to turn and smirk at Geoff, who he could _feel_ fuming next to him.

“Yeah, totally.” The two girls nodded. “Anyway, super cool house. We’re totally coming back next year.” The two walked away, laughing about the fun they had.

Geoff tried to steer the conversation back to what they were previously talked about, but more and more people kept coming up to them, talking about how much they loved the haunted house. At the end of the night, Ryan turned towards Geoff, face incredibly smug.

“So about our bet?”

Geoff quickly threw up his hands. “Wait, what? N-No, our bet is about which house is scarier.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think popularity should be involved?”

“No!”

“Oh really?” Ryan smirked, eyes half-lidded. “I bet I can get you to change your mind.”

Geoff visibly gulped.

As the two of them left, Ryan noticed Ashley sitting out on the front steps, Meg floating above her. The two of them were talking and occasionally, they would laugh. The rest of the ghost were out on the front lawn, with Lindsay and Jeremy, chatting away.

Ryan was totally going to ask them back next year and, with them, Halloween was going to be his favorite time of year again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments And Criticisms Welcomed.


End file.
